Friends

Today I was reminded how important friends are. When you are going through difficult times, the enemy does his best to isolate you.

"They wouldn't understand. They are too busy. They'll just judge you..."

These are just a few lies that we let into our minds that keep us from one another. I was reminded today how much of my isolation is a result of believing this kind of stuff. I was reminded how, when I push past those silly little excuses and actually make time for people, I am actually loved and understood and affirmed.

We can't make it through this life alone, and we were never intended to. I just need to keep the truth in front of me.

And to my friends, thank you so much for being you and for being in my life.
-ted

I need to write...

I just don't know if I have the courage.

It seems easier to keep the gnawing sense of agony at bay by just denying it is even there.

Sooner or later (I hope that it is sooner), I will need to break down and process where I am and what I am doing.

But not today...

I'll think about that tomorrow...
-ted

Remembering My Mom - Clema Christine (Swerdan) Wallace

 Over the last few weeks, I've been thinking about writing a post about the benefits and drawbacks of nostalgia. Is it helpful or harmful to think about the past? The short version, is that I believe that looking back is helpful - we better understand where we came from and how to move forward. However, it can be harmful if all we do is dwell on the past, and fail to look into the future to create and innovate (I tend to do that...).

Anyway, today is the 11th anniversary of my mom's passing, and I thought it was appropriate to remember her. She was such an amazing influence on my life. She taught me how to do the dishes and clean the bathrooms (and leave down the seat!), but she also taught me how to love people and love God.

I was 21 years old when she passed away, and Emily was only about 8 months. I often think about how she would have felt about our boys and that I was just really beginning to have one of those adult-friend relationships that you have with your parents as you grow older.

I'm thankful for the time that we had, and I'm thankful that she was such a good mom - like resigning from her job my senior year of high school so that she could be a "band booster" and come to my field trips and stuff. I often miss her when I'm stressed, and think about how nice it is to have the unquestioning love and support of a mom. If your mother is still alive, don't take her for granted, and be sure to tell her how much you love her!

Love you and miss you, Mom.
-ted

My mom and her dad, Stephen Theodore Swerdan.

Me and my mom around 1979

Mom, Dad and me around 1984

Mom, me and Charity - 1987

God's Love

I was listening to "How He Loves Us" this morning. No matter how many times I hear that song, it gets to me.

In the context of riots in London, two wars, and a dismal economic outlook, it is important to pause and remember that God loves you. Totally, completely, and overflowing. I know that I needed this reminder. When I lack so much in this temporal life, God has so much to give that is everlasting.

It is easy to see why Paul talked about God the Father pouring out his glorious riches of love and mercy and grace upon us. It is a fountain that will never run dry. When I am in this season of dryness (both literately and figuratively), it is comforting and strengthening to know that there is an endless supply of his living water for our lives.

I pray that you will take a moment today to dwell on this truth, and that His love will be poured out on you in a fresh way this day.
-ted

Rocking Your Theology

Today, I was listening to this story (Evangelicals Question The Existence Of Adam And Eve) and it really got me thinking about my own interpretation of Scripture. In short, the article focused on the ability for scientists to map the human genome and have come to the conclusion that there is no way for all of humanity to have derived from one set of biological parents. If this is true, how would it effect the theology of an individual who believes in a literal Adam and Eve? The overarching question is, of course, "Is the Bible literal or more of an allegory?"

What happens when we have to question the fundamentals of our beliefs? The article pointed out the Church's imprisonment of Galileo Galilei in the 17th century due to his belief that the earth was not the center of the universe. They made the statement that the Protestant Church is in a similar "Galileo Moment" when it comes to accepting or rejecting the Theory of Evolution.

I know that this kind of topic can lead down so many rabbit trails and has so many implications about our faith that it would fill hours and hours of conversation. I have had to work through my own faith, but I'm curious to know how and if you have wrestled with this issue or something similar to it. For me, the strongest implications are for my children. Am I going to teach them what to believe or how to seek the truth?

Ultimately, if evolution is true and the story of Adam and Eve is a metaphor of our own innocence lost, does it change my view or need of God? I think that there are numerous concepts about God and the universe that we don't understand and will change over time, but I think that God is big enough, gracious enough, and wise enough to handle the questions that we wrestle with...

please share your thoughts

-ted

"Selling God"

On Thursday, I watched a documentary titled "Selling God." (The trailer can be view here.) It was an attempt to look at the "marketing" of religion and Christianity in particular.

Without a doubt it was heavily skewed against Christianity or a belief in any god, but I still thought that there were a few things to glean from an outside view of the faith. The most significant statement the documentary made was how Christianity has been marketed over the past two millennia. It stated that Christianity took the best from "Marketing 101" by:

1) Creating a need - In this case Original Sin, man is in need of a savior.
2) Providing a solution - Christ
3) Offering rewards and consequences - Heaven and Hell
4) Creating urgency - The Apocalypse

I have been a believer most of my life, and if I'm honest, this is a true but still highly flawed view of my faith. The documentary was full of misquotes and scripture taken out of context, but it also had long clips of many influential leaders of the modern evangelical movement merely reinforcing the principles outlined above. They had statistics from those leaders on how much it costs to "save a soul" in actual dollars and cents (i.e. how much did it cost to rent out a stadium, provide for the speakers/bands, rent equipment, etc divided by how many came forward for the altar call at the end).

I know that Christianity is so much more than this. Any mature believer knows that following Christ is not as simple as simply saying a prayer, but somehow over the years our American distinctive of systems and efficiency has watered down the gospel to those on the outside. We are seen as people who believe in owning guns and being against gay marriage.

It seems to me that Christ was about something different than setting political or even moral agendas. When he began his ministry he said, "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come." Many times the gospels record how he was filled with compassion for his people, how he moved miraculously in supernatural power, and how his harshest words were directed at the religious leaders.

I guess I just really want my life to reflect Christ's, and that can't be summed up in a 30 minute sermon or in a bumper sticker. How does the way we live our lives reflect Christ and the things that he stood for? Offering others a chance to encounter Him has to be more about living close to God and trusting in his transforming power than it does about running a positive PR campaign for Jesus.

Priceless...

A couple of weeks ago, I spent my day off trying to make a little extra cash. I decided to go to the Garland Day Labor Center and see if I could pick up some random work. I got a job and that little bit of money, but I also gained an insight that I didn't intend on getting.

The center opened at 6:30 am, and since I wasn't really sure what to expect, I wanted to be there a little early. I got up around 5:15 and got some coffee, packed a couple of snacks and my work gloves and headed off. I arrived at about 6 in the morning, and started chatting (mostly just listening) with some of the other laborers who were waiting for work. I got the skinny on how the system worked, what jobs were the best, what jobs you really didn't want (like roofing in the hot Texas sun), and the various stories of the other guys that were waiting around.

I hesitate to generalize and further reinforce stereotypes, but most of the people that I talked to were on some kind of government assistance, most of them were people of color,  they looked hard - weathered, and all of them looked eager, hopeful, and willing to take whatever they could get.

The "system" that I mentioned before consisted of getting in line (in the order you showed up as a kind of unwritten code) and filling out an information form and getting a number. The whole time I was waiting I was told, "you really need to sell yourself." After I got my number (#5), I stood in a place of prime real estate in the line. The contractors that were looking for laborers would drive around the center and park. They would let the center manager know how many workers they were looking for and what kind of job they had. They didn't ever speak to any of us waiting for work. Most of them didn't even look at us.

The saddest part of this experience was that I watched as my fellow laborers lifted up their numbers, hoping that the contractor would pick them. At best, the feeling that I got took me back to elementary school where the kids at recess would pick teams. You know, that feeling, "Oh, please pick me, pick me. Don't let me be last..." But at worst, it reminded me of being on an auction block. I know that no one was forcing any of us to be there, and I know that we were all paid for our work, but the similarities were too striking not to notice.

This process of being a number, of being regarded as a worker, a laborer, as expendable, as invaluable, simply stripped away dignity and humanity. I don't know the story of everyone standing in line with me that day. No doubt, many of those men made choices with consequences that left them with a criminal record, unable to get work anywhere else. Even having a Day Labor Center was meant to ensure that everyone had a chance and that they were paid at least minimum wage, but the social gulf was too wide to bridge. With few exceptions, the contractors viewed the workers no more than a tool or an animal that was needed to do a task. The wage that was paid was simply a cost of doing business.

I don't own my own business, and I don't ever intend to, but I guarantee that if I'm ever in need of a day laborer, I will do my best to add dignity to the person that I hire. I don't have a solution for how this system works, and I'm glad a I got picked up that day and got that extra cash I was hoping for, but the lesson that I learned in valuing people and the need to extend humanity and dignity to everyone I come in contact with was priceless.